WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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