i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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