It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My vagina is officially offended.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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