woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
