WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
