just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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