the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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