..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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