Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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