so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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