Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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