Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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