Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We need to get me chipped asap
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
