dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We named our party play list daddy issues
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
