We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
