We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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