Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
