i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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