i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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