Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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