Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize