"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
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