thus making me awesome and them whores
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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