I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
