im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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