Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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