I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I did not marry a roomba.
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