Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
