i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
