Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
