I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
