he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
