my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
