No subtext here. People are naked.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
