thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
