hell yes lets make some ravioli
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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