honey bunches of taint.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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