I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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