I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
