either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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