Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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