i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
