She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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