Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Operation Purity has been aborted
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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