At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
