i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
