at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
