Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
