and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
