i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
