I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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