Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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