5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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