Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
