i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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