I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
