Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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