So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
