Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
