ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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