yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
