I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
