is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
