So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize