No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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