make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
