I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
