Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize